Powys Befrienders – Men’s Club Welshpool

Natalie Philbin-Carr is a Powys Befriending Service Outreach Officer at Powys Association of Voluntary Organisations (read Powys Befrienders – it’s given me back my life for more on this PAVO project generally).

We chatted recently about the project’s popular fortnightly Men’s Club in Welshpool, North Powys.

First tell us more about your role as a Powys Befriending Service Outreach Officer

My aim is to provide befriending support to people aged 50+ in Powys to help them maintain their independence and social networks and to live in their homes for as long as they are able. This is done through recruiting and training volunteers who will then either visit the clients in their own home for a cup of tea and a chat or through groups run by the volunteers to enable clients to get out in the community. The befrienders will help to promote personal choice, aim to increase self–respect, support existing personal skills and the development of new opportunities.

Why was the Men’s Club Welshpool set up?

There were a number of men we were in contact with who felt that lunches and afternoon teas weren’t for them. They wanted something in a ‘male environment’. Several of them identified that they liked playing board games and cards and so we gave it a try.

What happens at the Men’s Club, when does it take place, and who can go along?

The men all meet together at The Smithfield Bell in Welshpool every other Monday. They have their own table at the back of the pub where they have a selection of games they can play. The gentleman will get themselves a drink (usually coffee or a soft drink) and then sit and chat for a few minutes while getting everything together. They meet at 12pm and are finished for 2pm. The next meeting is on 8th July and then again on 22nd July. Anyone can go along and join in, it’s a lovely relaxed atmosphere.

Why do the men like to attend the group?

They like to enjoy other male company and play games in peace. 😃

Is it important to provide a men-only group and if so why?

I feel it is because it was something that was specifically requested by the men themselves.

Are there Men’s Clubs in other parts of Powys?

There aren’t just yet that are Powys Befriender run groups, however there are a number of Men’s Sheds dotted about but these are more for practical DIY and gardening type activities rather than recreational.

We are hoping to be able to open another Men’s Group in Newtown next month, plans are currently underway to get it up and running.

How does attending the group impact on the men’s mental health / wellbeing?

It gives them something to look forward to and they are doing something they enjoy. Males generally are quite private about things, so it’s nice for them to have other males to chat to without feeling awkward about who may also be listening.

Some of the men who come along to the Club are also volunteers with the Powys Befriending Service. What kind of volunteering are they doing?

They are there to keep things together and to welcome new people along. If anyone has any questions about the group or the service then the volunteers are on hand to answer anything or if they need anything further, the volunteers can just call in to me for further support. They will set the games up and clear things away at the end. A couple of our volunteers are also drivers so help picking up and dropping off clients when they can.

What are the main challenges of providing Befriending Services specifically for men in Powys?

Finding enough men in the same area to make the provision viable and getting transport to get those who need it to the venues.

Tell us about some of the most rewarding work you have done in the Powys Befriending team

When I first started out with the Befriending Team, I took over an area where the groups had dispersed over the previous months. The first lunch club I arranged, only one person turned up to it, and that was a volunteer. 

Gradually, with a bit of hard work, promotion and word of mouth, the group started to grow and just before I left the area, we were getting around 22 - 24 people coming out for the lunch groups. Seeing everyone get together, smiling and laughing and having a good chat while eating a lovely meal, is such a satisfying thing to watch. Knowing you have made someone happy by giving them an opportunity to get out and socialise is priceless, especially when they tell you they may not have done anything else or seen anyone else that week.

When you’re not working how do you enjoy spending your time?

I love camping! Every year my partner and I, and our 2 boys aged 2 and 13, go camping for a few weeks with our dog Herbie. Last year was Cornwall and this year is Tenby! 

While I’m at home I absolutely love cooking and baking. I regularly have friends visiting from where I used to live, so this gives me the perfect opportunity to cook up a big feast where we then all sit round the dining table and catch up! Having lots of chickens and new born chicks at home also takes up a lot of my time but I wouldn’t change any of it! I love having a day off, but it’s very rare I get to relax!

Big thanks to Natalie for telling us all about the Men's Club in Newtown and we look forward to hearing when the Newtown Men's Club opens for business! 

To find out more about the Men's Club, or any of the other Powys Befrienders' activities, you can email Natalie - natalie.philbin-carr@pavo.org.uk or ring 01597 822191.

Man to Man - let's talk

Mike Buckley, who lives in Radnorshire, tells us more about the mens’ group which he organises which meets monthly in Llandrindod Wells.

Why did you decide to start the Man to Man group?
Men tend to find it more difficult to talk about the issues which they encounter in life. The group was formed to provide a place where men can be themselves fully without fear of being judged and to discuss things like anxiety, shame, self worth as well as happiness and joy.

What has been the response to the meetings so far?
Only a few people attend so far and I think it will grow by word of mouth. Those that have come to the first three meetings have responded in a really heartfelt way. One person went away after a meeting and wrote a piece describing an encounter in his past, which we then discussed at the next meeting.

Who can join the group?
Any males over 18. Anyone who wants to drop in. There is no course as such so someone can join at any stage.

When is your next meeting?
Our next meeting is on Thursday 30th January from 7.00 to 8.30 at The Court, Lant Avenue, Llandrindod Wells, LD1 5HY.

Tell us a bit about what will happen at the meeting
At this meeting there will be two ten minute periods of sitting in silence with guidance. The topic for the evening is identity. We will explore who we think we are and from where we derive our sense of identity. This will include looking at areas where our sense of self comes under question and how that makes us feel.

What plans do you have for future meetings?
The January meeting is the beginning place for a discussion which will span the next few meetings. We will go on to look at the viewpoint from which we look out at life and discuss how we come to hold our opinions and attitudes. We could for example look at what happens in an argument where two people disagree about any given thing. The group will be asked to consider whether the story about who 'I' am is completely related to the past and to a life story, and what happens to this 'I' in the present moment.

The value of all this will hopefully be felt when the discussion spills into the sense of self-worth, which is a topic we have already heard in the group. It is central to how a person feels about themselves and most people doubt their value to some degree or other.

At the next meeting we will also listen to about 10 minutes of a talk by Eckhart Tolle which neatly addresses the above points.

If people want to find out more, who can they contact?
People can call me on 07866 497 604.

Thanks Mike, for telling us more about the group. If you have ever been along to a men's group either in Powys or elsewhere, let us know your experiences.

Look out for dates of future meetings on our website here.