Christmas is upon us! Let's spread the love

by Jackie Newey & Jen Hawkins

There are lots of reasons why someone might be faced with the prospect of spending Christmas Day on their own. Some people may choose this option - which is absolutely fine. Others may have lost a loved one - a husband, wife or long-term partner, or parent, during the course of the year, and be dreading their first ever Christmas alone. Other people of any age may work a long way away from close family and friends and not be in a position to travel and spend time with them.

Sadly, however, it is much more likely that it will be older people who face Christmas alone. Some older people may not see anyone, or even have a phone call on Christmas Day, never mind receive a gift or join in a shared meal. A new Age UK report published on 3 December 2019 estimates that more than 200,000 older people in the UK will spend Christmas alone this year. Those who have recently been widowed struggle the most. The poignancy of this situation is brilliantly illustrated in a short video called "Stella" from Reengage UK (formerly Contact the Elderly).

Joanna Lumley, Age UK Ambassador, says: "Loneliness is one of the most disabling and dispiriting situations that thousands must face this and every year. Even pulling a Christmas cracker needs someone at the other end...and think of all the other moments when a kind hand, a warm voice, and understanding presence would be of even greater benefit to a lonely troubled person.”

Prompted by attending the Powys Bereavement Project launch earlier this month (planned to coincide with the first ever National Grief Awareness Week), Jen decided to try and find out if there were any events or lunches organised by groups in Powys for people to attend if they were by themselves on Christmas Day. Early on in her investigations she was pleasantly surprised by the number and spread of activities across the county. Some of the organisations are even offering to organise transport where needed.

Before long we were both absolutely overwhelmed by the sheer generosity of individuals linked to voluntary groups, churches and even private organisations, who are working tirelessly to ensure people in their communities do not have to face Christmas alone. Indeed most of the lunches / events are free to attend and run on donations and good old community Christmas spirit!

One church in Newtown provides meals for up to one hundred people each year who are elderly or vulnerable and on their own at Christmas. Working with a local sandwich shop, who donate their time and the main course of the meal, a delicious Christmas dinner is prepared, taking into consideration different dietary and lifestyle requirements. Volunteers at the church gather on Christmas morning to organise the food parcels to be delivered to the local residents. 

As well as a Christmas dinner each person receives a newspaper, a dessert and a small gift. It’s not just a flying visit just to drop off either. There is a true sense of Christmas spirit with volunteers staying to chat and keep people company for up to half an hour. Many volunteers have been delivering parcels for several years, visiting the same people each year to build relationships, foster friendships and maintain a sense of continuity and connection. Places have been filled for this year but if you know of someone who would benefit next year please get in touch and we can refer you to the relevant organisations.

Powys really wears its heart on its sleeve when it comes to caring for people in the community at Christmas. What was heartwarming and poignant to discover is that support at Christmas isn’t just localised in one area of Powys. Support and care is provided right across the county from a Christmas meal in Llanfyllin organised by local people and business, to hot drinks and mince pies at the village hall in Presteigne, to board games, bacon butties and hot chocolate at the Greek Restaurant in Brecon with Credu - Connecting Carers. The range of support and provision is varied and heartfelt. 

Other Christmas Day lunches and events are listed on our website events calendar. Some are now fully booked, but others still offer places, or are more informal spaces, where people can meet up with others on Christmas Day. Enjoy a chat, a drink (non-alcoholic or not), listen to music, laugh together (or not!) at some of those dreadful Christmas cracker jokes, and eat a Christmas dinner (roast turkey, or not!) together.

In the end Christmas Day is just one day of the year. What about the other 364 (or in 2020, which is a Leap Year, 365) days? Powys Befrienders is a PAVO project helping to improve the independence of people aged 50 and over in the county by encouraging thriving social networks. This can have huge knock on benefits, not only in people feeling happier in themselves and enjoying life more, but in their ability to remain in their own homes for longer.

Isolation and loneliness can be big issues, especially in a large rural county like Powys. But there is support out there, whether at Christmas or any other time of the year. And the main message we took away from this small piece of work is that generally people in Powys don’t need to spend Christmas Day alone if they don’t want to!

With seasons greetings to all our readers, and hoping that your Christmas is as busy or as quiet as you would really wish.

If you need support over the Christmas period, however, for whatever reason, then take a look at our website page with details of organisations that can help.

There is also an excellent blog post, with tips on how to survive Christmas, on local mental health charity Ponthafren Association’s website - Beat the Christmas Blues.

Repping on the Carers’ Steering Group in Powys – as a young carer

Emily and her Mum

Emily Bleakley is a young carer and also a young carers’ rep on the new Carers’ Steering Group in Powys. The first steering group meeting was convened in November 2018 as part of the Powys Health & Care Strategy overseen by the Powys Regional Partnership Board.

A year on and it seemed like a good time to find out more about how the steering group is developing and working, so we caught up with Emily to find out more.

To start off could you give us a little background about your own caring role?

I started to call myself a young carer when I was 14 years old. Over the past two years my caring role has been quite varied. I used to be the primary carer for my mum who died last year from terminal bladder cancer. At the same time, I cared for my younger brother who has autism. However, since my mum's death, I now help my brother to process his grief whilst also helping around the house.

Who has provided support to you during your time as a carer?

At the beginning of my caring journey, I didn't really want to accept help as I thought what I was doing was normal. However, after having a conversation with some of my teachers at school, I decided to talk to an outreach worker from Credu Connecting Carers as I wanted to meet carers with similar experiences to me. Since that initial meeting two years ago, I have continued to work closely with Credu and I really value the support I receive from them.

Why did you decide to take up the opportunity as a rep on the Carers' Steering Group?

I really value advocacy opportunities to give my views on carer-related issues in Powys. When the email came through asking whether I'd like to take up the position, naturally I jumped at the opportunity to represent the voices of Powys' young carers.

What was the main reason for setting up the steering group and what are the main objectives now?

In my opinion, the reason for setting up the Carers' Steering Group was to share experience about the support available for carers in Powys and to ensure its future. Our main objective is to discuss the priorities within carers' support as well as to represent the carers of Powys in a way that allows support to target individual carers' needs. 

Emily with her brother & her Mum

How often does the group meet and who else is involved? 

The group meets three times a year at a minimum. However, there are occasions when an extraordinary meeting is necessary. This is always accommodated well to allow representatives time to look over any paperwork or prepare any presentations.

There are representatives from Credu Connecting Carers, Hafal Crossroads, Children's Services, Health Services, Education Services and Powys Association of Voluntary Organisations.

What are the key issues for carers in Powys at the moment, and for young carers in particular?

Raising awareness and respite are the most common issues that keep coming up. Raising awareness is an issue that is raised by nearly every young carer I have spoken to. This is mainly because we all want to get our voices heard and make a difference in matters that impact upon our futures.

What have been the steering group's main areas of progress so far?

I would say that the steering group's main area of progress would be our consultations with the members of the caring communities that we represent. We then go on to include their feedback in our findings on how we can aim to continue providing support for carers in an effective way, whilst also contemplating any necessary improvements and how best to implement them.

What are the main challenges for you of your role on the steering group?

I am yet to come across any challenges within my role on the steering group. This is predominately because the other members are able to clear up any of the terms I don't understand in any of the documents or presentations I come across.

Tell us about some of the most rewarding work you have done so far with the steering group

One of the most rewarding parts of our work is to raise awareness of the need for carers' voices to be heard on a wider scale. We do this by consulting with people we know as well as through events we organise and attend as part of the steering group. Knowing that support for carers in Powys will continue to grow is undoubtedly the most rewarding outcome for us all.

When you are not busy with your various caring and educational responsibilities, how do you enjoy spending your time?

I enjoy attending events to raise awareness of issues such as educational support for young and young adult carers to make sure that I get a say in my future as well as to raise issues on behalf of my peers.

I am also doing a charity skydive on the 8th February next year that I am busy fundraising for. I am doing this to raise funds for Credu Connecting Carers and Cancer Research. This is something that I have always wanted to do in memory of my mum.

Many thanks to Emily for telling us about her experiences on the Carers’ Steering Group. If you would like to find out more information about the steering group then please get in touch with Credu Connecting Carers by ringing 01597 823 800 or emailing info@credu.cymru