Our Alternative Christmas

For the last few years our December team meeting has morphed into a pre-Christmas mini-binge – turkey and nut roast sandwiches, warmed mince pies, mulled grape juice…. And Havin’ a Laugh.

This year – in the spirit of recognising that Christmas isn’t always an easy time for some of us – we decided to try something completely different.

We thought about surfing at Borth… climbing to the source of the Severn… exploring the sculpture park at Lake Vyrnwy… or kayaking the rapids of the River Wye… In the end we went to Rock Park in Llandrindod Wells (home to a former spa centre established in the Victorian era) and spent 2 hours litter picking and leaf collecting. It was wet. A bit muddy. But also exhilarating. We laughed a lot. We learnt stuff. It was genuinely team building. And the best December team meeting ever.

Amongst other things, we discovered that the leaves of the park’s ginkgo tree contain ginkgolides, which could improve blood circulation to the brain …. And that a lithium well was discovered at Rock Park in 1906 by Mr Heighway… (it's housed in the shed in the photograph).

Afterwards over lunch we exchanged more ideas about how to go about creating the Christmas Festival Fringe at home on the Big Day itself…

Anne: wishing for a festival of light!

For me, Christmas is a trigger for feelings of anxiety, which starts several weeks before with worrying about buying presents that people will like. As a result, I tend to put it off, leaving it to the last minute, which then creates more stress. It’s hard not to get caught up in the commercialisation and put pressure on myself, which doesn’t come from family and friends. So I suppose my fantasy Christmas would have less emphasis on giving and receiving material gifts. Or I’d employ a personal shopper!

I’ve often considered creating spiritual rituals that are meaningful to me at this time of year. My fantasy Christmas might include being outside in nature (weather permitting!), making the most of the light in the day and a bonfire in the evening. One year, I went to Stonehenge at dawn on the Winter Solstice, and then to Avebury Stone Circle, as it felt important to mark the shortest day. I like the idea of a festival of light to counteract the long, dark, winter evenings; something that has a big impact on my mood at this time of year. If money was no object then I would go away somewhere warm and sunny in the winter to top up on vitamin D until the days start getting longer again.

Carla’s No Cooking Christmas!

In our family, we did away with slaving over a hot stove for days on end and have exchanged turkey and trimmings for deli platters and paper plates. Essentially, this means that shopping for Christmas food doesn’t involve battling crowds in the supermarket but does involve spending a leisurely afternoon browsing small independent shops or jamming a queue at a deli counter somewhere. The kids and I pick salamis and cold meats, sample different cheeses before buying, choose which items to splash out on for the special ‘treat’ items (stuffed baby peppers are my favourite) and only have to pop to a big store to buy the fancy paper plates and crackers. I set a budget before we go shopping and when it’s gone - it’s gone.

On Christmas day, everything is put out on the table on throw-away foil platters from the pound aisle, the oven goes on to heat the ‘bake at home’ bread and paper plates are handed out to whoever the guests are - this can change at any point throughout the day as people drift by to say Happy Christmas and have a drink or two!

We eat, we snooze, we drink, we eat again and then all plates are put in the bin, leftovers stuck in the fridge and the next day we can get back to ‘normal’ - or just do it all over again with new plates! No stress, no fuss, no waste, no turkey sandwiches/curry/soup and buying the food can suit even the tiniest of budgets. One year, I bought everything we wanted from our local supermarket on Christmas Eve and it came to about £20.

Christmas doesn’t have to be a chore nor does it have to be the same every year - this year our family are NOT ‘magicing’ our Christmas tree and may have to resort to more conventional methods - but that’s another blog post . . .

Jackie: Digging Christmas!

Ever since moving to our house in the Upper Severn Valley 20 years ago I have been a bit of a mad keen gardener… and tradition now has it that every Christmas Day involves gardening in some form or other. Depending on the weather this could be chipping parsnips out of frozen compost in a style not dissimilar to that used on an archaeological dig… rescuing a willow bean tripod from the top of an ash tree in a gale… or scraping snow off the polytunnel before the metal hoops crumple under the weight….

But the highlight of all Christmas Gardening Days past was the one where I found an old Victorian sixpence dated 1875 in the ground whilst digging out self-seeded holly trees. I would have rushed off to order a metal detector there and then (well in the Boxing Day sales anyway) except the ground all around was found to be full not of treasure but buried refuse – not exactly the Staffordshire Hoard – rather the site of some 1950s fly-tipping…half-bricks galore.

Christmas in our house is a time for planning the gardening season ahead. Full of hope. Anticipation. And some concerns… Will the heritage seed beetroots finally plump up…? The spring frosts stay at bay…? The million hungry rodents be herded up and dispatched by resident cats …? The recycled tin baths moisture retentive and slug-proof for carrots to thrive…? The elusive horse manure finally appear magically at the end of our drive…?

Whatever 2017 brings in the world outside my valley… I can’t wait to get my hands dirty again in the confines of my garden oasis. (If you fancy gardening and don’t have a patch of your own, there are community gardens all around Powys).

Jane: Fantasy Christmas meets Reality!

My fantasy Christmas would be one where I had actually got my act together and was well prepared! Each year I stubbornly refuse to even think about Christmas until December - and then I am surprised by how quickly it seems to arrive! We would book an enormous house so that all the extended family could come, everyone would get on well, there would be harmonious sharing of chores and all the various traditions would miraculously work together so that everyone felt that they had had a part in such a wonderful shared time - so that should show what a general fantasist I am!

I’ve never done anything that out of the ordinary at Christmas myself - last year I was proud of my daughter and husband who took a car-load of donations to the refugee camp in Calais and volunteered there for a few days in between Christmas and New Year.

On balance I think that having a time of coming together and sharing food, gifts and conviviality at the darkest point of the year is a good thing - and if you are a Christian then it’s a good thing to celebrate the birth of Christ too. There isn’t any easy way to balance that with the fact that for a lot of people it is also a very difficult time - I am inclined to think that the gross (to my mind) level of consumerism, the overcomplicating of it all and the relentless emphasis on the fun, party side of Christmas with no mainstream, non-religious acknowledgement of the importance of reflection and quiet thought as a component of the rest of the festive season adds to the sense of isolation and loneliness that some people feel at Christmas.

And finally...

These ideas and approaches may or may not work for you. But perhaps they could kickstart a different way of thinking about the traditional Christmas. And if you opt for the alternative approach, we would love to hear from you in the comments box below.

Most important of all, do something that makes you happy. And if you need extra help over the festive season – it’s out there. Wellness and Recovery Learning Centres around Powys are open at some point over Christmas and the New Year and would welcome your visit. Check their opening times on websites, details here. You can link to national helplines here.

If you need help urgently find information here.

Happy Christmas, whether Traditional or Alternative suits you best. And see you in 2017.

Photos feature Newtown's Christmas-themed town centre in December 2016

Havin' a Comedy Christmas 2015

"Tis the season to be jolly....." 

Yes, it's that time of year again. It's unbelievable how quickly it turns up each December.  In 2014 we posted Top 10 Tips to Survive Christmas, as we recognise that the festive season is not everyone's favourite period.

For Christmas 2015 our team have been inspired by local comedian Owen Griffkin's new comedy workshops to think how laughter has kept us going over Christmases past.

Each of the team has come up with a book, or film, or memory that has made them laugh in Christmases gone by whilst wondering whether to embrace the holly (ouch) and mince pies with family, friends or even complete strangers, or just run and hide.

"Fa la la la la, la la la la...."

Angharad

Many things remind me of Christmas and the laughs I’ve had, such as watching classic 1990 Christmas film ‘Home Alone’ with Macaulay Culkin. But the highlight of any recent Christmas was watching my dog, Bella (a fluffy white bichon frise) open my mum’s Christmas presents for her. As the centre of our little family, she is without a doubt put on the highest pedestal, treated like a human and the focus of me and my mum’s lives. I’ve had the blessing of owning Bella since my last year in primary school, which makes Bella around 14 years old (an old lady!) yet she still has the personality of a puppy and hasn’t lost any of her diva like qualities yet. She is spoiled, and rightly so!

Last Christmas, the buzz and excitement of smelling her Christmas dinner and her presents under the tree were too much to bear, and she began like a puppy, tearing the corners of the wrapping paper off. We normally get her to help open a small section of our presents, but last year, she came into her own! Without any warning she took centre stage and started unwrapping presents in the middle of the living room, swinging the paper around with her mouth as best she could, determined to find out what was inside! After some playful growling, swinging wrapping paper and presents and holding them down with her paws, she had unbelievably managed to open two well wrapped presents! This memory always makes me laugh at how loving and funny animals can be, who enjoy Christmas as much as anyone else! It also made me and my mum hysterically laugh, along with us clapping and cheering her along!

‘Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms.’ George Eliot

Anne

When Jackie suggested this topic for a blog, my heart sank slightly. Call me Scrooge but Christmas isn’t one of my favourite times of year. 

But then I remembered my favourite scene from "The Wrong Trousers", an Aardman Animations film starring Wallace & Gromit that was first shown on Boxing Day in 1993, and will be forever associated with Christmas for me. It’s the train set chase scene where Gromit is attempting to stop criminal penguin Feathers McGraw escaping after a diamond heist. When Gromit grabs the box marked spare track and frenetically starts to lay track to keep the toy train on the rails, I was in hysterics. It’s well worth watching the clip on YouTube. I defy anyone not to smile whilst watching it.

Jackie

Way, way back in 1982 I ripped open a Christmas present whilst on holiday in Dorset. It was a copy of the now legendary Adrian Mole book by Sue Townsend - “The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole aged 13 ¾”. I started reading, was hooked after two pages, and didn’t stop until I’d finished a few hours later. The Christmas pudding was long since cold, the mince pies just crumbs swimming in spilled alcohol, and my elbows had turned black and blue from lying still for so long. It was the funniest book I’d read in ages by a classic writer of comedy fiction. Who hasn’t heard of Adrian Mole?

Sue Townsend went on to write a total of 8 books about Adrian Mole, taking him from angst-ridden teenager in the Thatcherite years of the 1980s to the brink of middle age in the The Prostrate Years and Gordon Brown’s New Labour era of the late noughties. I haven’t read the later volumes - so there is more laughter to look forward to yet.

Here are a few of my favourite quotes from the original classic:

“I must say that I take my hat off to Sainsbury's, they seem to attract a better class of person. I saw a vicar choosing toilet paper; he chose a four-roll pack of purple three-ply. He must have money to burn! He could have bought some shiny white and given the difference to the poor. What a hypocrite!”

“It is the first day of spring. The council have chopped all the elms down in Elm Tree Avenue.” 

“I have never seen a dead body or a female nipple. This is what comes from living in a cul-de-sac.”

Jane

Some years ago my mother came for Christmas. She was (she died this year) a very difficult person and there was always a fair amount of tension with her around. During Christmas Eve she snapped at one of my teenage children for not doing, in her eyes, sufficient washing up. A general shouting match ensued with my mother shouting at said child and ripping up the Christmas present she was going to give to this offspring - who obviously shouted back that no-one had wanted Granny to come anyway and me shouting at my mother in defence of my children. 

Meanwhile my husband was at his work’s Christmas booze-up - which was legendary. My daughter rang the most likely pub, found him and summoned him back. Eventually he wove his way home and into this maelstrom, lay on the floor and declared “I love you all!”. I can’t actually remember what happened next - but I found a mention of this in some notes after my mother moved out of her house into a nursing home - she had written “Christmas with Jane and children, least said”. For us this is now a traditional family Christmas story, and I guess it goes to show that Christmas can be difficult and tense and also, at least in retrospective, hilarious too.

Support over Christmas

Wellness and Recovery Learning Centres around Powys are open at some point over Christmas and the New Year and would welcome your visit. Click here to find their contact details and links to their own websites.You can link to national helplines here.

If you need help urgently find information here.

Have a Happy Comedy Christmas and we look forward to hearing from you in 2016!

Top 10 Tips to Survive Christmas

The mental health team here at PAVO would like to wish you all the best for Christmas and New Year 2014. However, we understand that it can be a difficult time for some people, and between us the team have come up with ten (hopefully useful) tips for surviving Christmas. If you have ideas of your own we would really like to hear from you - just add them in the comments box at the end.

1 Get together with other people

If you haven’t got anything planned for Christmas and are worried about being on your own, why not contact someone who may be in a similar situation, and arrange to do something together.

2 Prepare in case of a crisis
Before Christmas make a list of people and places who could support you in a crisis. Make sure you have phone numbers to hand, opening times of places that are important to you, that you have renewed your prescription if you have medication, and have emergency cash if possible for taxis if you really need to get somewhere. If you self-injure and think this is likely over Christmas make sure you have what you need to be safe. (See links below for further support and help).

3 Remember lost loved ones
Christmas can be a difficult time if you have just lost someone. If you have lost someone close maybe acknowledge this and light a candle for them. You might like to give something to an appropriate charity in their memory.

4 Be a Christmas volunteer
What about actually volunteering to do something with a local group or charity? Many organisations would like to hear from you if you have time to help, but contact them in plenty of time so that your offer can be incorporated into the group's plans.

5 Just treat yourself!
Do something nurturing for yourself - get yourself a treat - plan to go to your favourite place or go on your favourite walk, or listen to music that you really like.

6 Celebrate in your own way
If the commercialisation or the religious aspects of Christmas are not for you celebrate the mid winter in your own ways - think of the mid winter as a time for reflection and quiet, a time for beginning to nurture new growth….think of all the things in nature which begin life in a period of dark and quiet - roots start to grow, trees rest before the new leaves of spring, sheep are in lamb ready for spring …...sow some seeds of change for yourself - what can you begin when the days start to get longer again?

7 Have a laugh!
Promise yourself a laugh on Christmas Day - even if you don’t really feel like it. Look at some funny DVDs or ring someone who makes you laugh - find a funny YouTube clip - even if you feel false doing it laughing can definitely help to lift negative feelings.

8 Take the time to be useful
Use the time to do something practical. You may get a sense of achievement for having accomplished something. Perhaps you have been waiting all year to find time to sort out that untidy room or make a new garden bed. Dive in and start now!

9 Create, create, create
Be creative - paint a picture, knit a scarf, design your garden ready for the new season, write a poem, make a fun mask, go for a walk and take some photographs, sing a song.... Perhaps it is an opportunity to try something new. There are lots of groups out there encouraging creative activity, such as Arts Alive in Crickhowell. Or you can search the internet for websites packed full of ideas, like this one.

10 Be a friend to someone else this Christmas
Think about what your neighbours might be doing, and if any of them might need some support, help or companionship at this time. Often helping someone else - even just small gestures such as collecting a newspaper for them from the local shop -  can take your mind off your own struggles and can be a very rewarding way to spend time over the Christmas period.

Wellness and Recovery Learning Centres around Powys are open at some point over Christmas and the New Year and would welcome your visit. Visit their websites to check their opening times, details here. You can link to national helplines here.

If you need help urgently find information here.

We look forward to hearing from you in 2015.