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| Ros Sandhu, Mums Matter facilitator |
I am one of the two Mums Matter Facilitators. My background is in education and I was a secondary school teacher for 20 years before training to be a Health and Wellbeing Facilitator.
I have a special interest in using mindfulness techniques to enhance our health and wellbeing. I am mum to 2 daughters who are 12 and 18 and, like most women with children, I recognize that the journey that I have been on since becoming a mum has been by far the most powerful and important part of my life with many challenges, as well as opportunities for growth.
I joined the team in April 2020 and it feels wonderful to be using my experiences and skills to be supporting women with the most important and difficult job that we face. I passionately believe that sharing experiences is by far the most helpful and healing part of any support service because we feel less alone, we connect with others and learn that it is not just us or our ‘fault’. We are reminded that this is all part of the messy business of simply being a human being.
I would encourage any mums with babies to get in touch; you will almost certainly meet some like-minded women and feel supported through your experiences of motherhood. In these especially challenging times, the Mums Matter Team are here for you.
My colleague Sarah James has worked as a Mums Matter Facilitator since 2019. She is a proud mum to a 3 year-old little boy and her empathy, warmth and current life experiences make her wonderfully approachable – she is great at keeping things very real. Sarah has a background in community and youth work, and she is also a trained counsellor.
Sarah says, “I have experienced the same challenges as many other mums have, especially during lockdown - juggling childcare, working from home, and getting shopping slots. I also know that the techniques that we teach in Mums Matter really work as I use them every day."
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Practicing
our Zoom skills: I’m at the top, Sarah is next & Clare Searle, our fantastic
administrator, is next.
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Sarah says, “I have experienced the same challenges as many other mums have, especially during lockdown - juggling childcare, working from home, and getting shopping slots. I also know that the techniques that we teach in Mums Matter really work as I use them every day."
It feels especially important at the moment, to be able to share the Mums Matter toolkit with mums to help them get through each day. I would encourage mums to get in touch – these techniques are tried and tested, and take it from me, they really work!”
A bit of background …
The basic premise of the whole Family Support Service at Brecon and District Mind is that happy and supported parents equals happy and healthy children.
The original Mums Matter was co-produced by a group of Mums in Peterborough with national Mind, who then led and supported local Minds in the UK to deliver the programme alongside Mind Cymru for Powys.
A bit of background …
The basic premise of the whole Family Support Service at Brecon and District Mind is that happy and supported parents equals happy and healthy children.
The original Mums Matter was co-produced by a group of Mums in Peterborough with national Mind, who then led and supported local Minds in the UK to deliver the programme alongside Mind Cymru for Powys.
It is an 8 week programme which offers groups of around 6 - 8 mums an informal weekly 2 hour workshop where they can share their experiences of early motherhood and also learn some very practical tools and coping techniques to help them manage things like negative self-talk and develop a greater understanding of the importance of self-care.
At the heart of the approach is the idea that amazing things happen when women support each other and there are many ways to be a great mum. Crucially in the original Mums Matter course, we provide a creche facility during the weekly 2 hour meet ups and so mums have the time and headspace to really focus on themselves and even get to drink a hot cup of tea!
In Brecon, Mums Matter has been running for over 3 years, originally with Deborah Wilkie as the only facilitator. It has become a highly successful and popular programme and as such now employs 2 facilitators in the Mums Matter team funded by the National Lottery Community Fund. Deborah now oversees Brecon & District Mind’s growing Family Support Service which also provides a peer group for Dads, as well as family support for parents with older children, both one to one and in a group setting – this has also all been moved online.
“I would like to thank the amazing support from the Mums that have attended the programme. They have been hugely inspiring and great advocates by promoting and sharing their own experiences of the programme to other Mums in groups and the wider community." Debs x
We see our role as facilitating peer support for parents by providing spaces where mums and dads can talk openly about the challenges that they are experiencing and have the space to feel listened to. We also introduce them to some very practical tools and skills that they can use to take care of themselves and manage the inevitable stresses of family life.
Mums Matter in a Changing World
Mums Matter in a Changing World is our remote version of Mums Matter – it is delivered using Zoom (the online communication platform) and we meet together online for an hour a week, for 8 weeks. We chose the name ‘Mums Matter in a Changing World’ to reflect how different and difficult things currently are for people, because of the pandemic, and how quickly things have, and will continue to change. We offer one to one support on the phone and in texts in between the sessions as well.
“It was so comforting to learn that other mums have been having the same feelings and experiences as me. Actually seeing their faces and hearing their voices has made me feel less alone.” Mum July 2020
In Brecon, Mums Matter has been running for over 3 years, originally with Deborah Wilkie as the only facilitator. It has become a highly successful and popular programme and as such now employs 2 facilitators in the Mums Matter team funded by the National Lottery Community Fund. Deborah now oversees Brecon & District Mind’s growing Family Support Service which also provides a peer group for Dads, as well as family support for parents with older children, both one to one and in a group setting – this has also all been moved online.
“I would like to thank the amazing support from the Mums that have attended the programme. They have been hugely inspiring and great advocates by promoting and sharing their own experiences of the programme to other Mums in groups and the wider community." Debs x
We see our role as facilitating peer support for parents by providing spaces where mums and dads can talk openly about the challenges that they are experiencing and have the space to feel listened to. We also introduce them to some very practical tools and skills that they can use to take care of themselves and manage the inevitable stresses of family life.
Mums Matter in a Changing World
Mums Matter in a Changing World is our remote version of Mums Matter – it is delivered using Zoom (the online communication platform) and we meet together online for an hour a week, for 8 weeks. We chose the name ‘Mums Matter in a Changing World’ to reflect how different and difficult things currently are for people, because of the pandemic, and how quickly things have, and will continue to change. We offer one to one support on the phone and in texts in between the sessions as well.
“It was so comforting to learn that other mums have been having the same feelings and experiences as me. Actually seeing their faces and hearing their voices has made me feel less alone.” Mum July 2020
In our first Mums Matter in a Changing World course we have found the mums have needed to share their understandable sense of loss. Most of our mums gave birth around the time that Covid 19 was already in the community. As a result of this they have not been able to spend their maternity leave as they imagined. For example, they haven’t been able to share the cuddles with their newborns with families and friends. Some mums were not able to have the shared birth experience that they had planned.
Mums have been faced with many other challenges for example, due to lockdown, finding novel ways to weigh their babies at home and grappling with the challenges of breast feeding and establishing routines. They have truly tapped into their motherly instincts; over and again, we have been struck by the resilience and tenacity that they have shown.
“I am finding it really helpful to talk through the decisions that I am having to make with the facilitators and the other mums – there is the pull of wanting to keep my baby safe and the push of wanting to return to some kind of normality and see friends and family.” Mum, July 2020
As lockdown is easing mums are facing a whole new set of challenges and dilemmas. How much risk to take in terms of meeting up with friends and families and perhaps a reminder of how much the world has changed. Mums are having to balance their needs as mums with the safety of their babies and families within an environment of constantly changing government guidelines and scientific understanding of the virus still unfolding. The project can provide a safe space to start to look at these and to share the experiences that they are having and some tools and techniques to manage the understandable anxiety that many are facing.
“I am finding it really helpful to talk through the decisions that I am having to make with the facilitators and the other mums – there is the pull of wanting to keep my baby safe and the push of wanting to return to some kind of normality and see friends and family.” Mum, July 2020
As lockdown is easing mums are facing a whole new set of challenges and dilemmas. How much risk to take in terms of meeting up with friends and families and perhaps a reminder of how much the world has changed. Mums are having to balance their needs as mums with the safety of their babies and families within an environment of constantly changing government guidelines and scientific understanding of the virus still unfolding. The project can provide a safe space to start to look at these and to share the experiences that they are having and some tools and techniques to manage the understandable anxiety that many are facing.
The next Mums Matter in a Changing World course will start in September and we will also be back doing face to face courses as soon as it is safe to do so.
To find out more about this specially adapted remote Mums Matter course by Zoom call Sarah on 07535 385 512 or Ros on 07399 583 415.
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