Christmas is upon us! Let's spread the love

by Jackie Newey & Jen Hawkins

There are lots of reasons why someone might be faced with the prospect of spending Christmas Day on their own. Some people may choose this option - which is absolutely fine. Others may have lost a loved one - a husband, wife or long-term partner, or parent, during the course of the year, and be dreading their first ever Christmas alone. Other people of any age may work a long way away from close family and friends and not be in a position to travel and spend time with them.

Sadly, however, it is much more likely that it will be older people who face Christmas alone. Some older people may not see anyone, or even have a phone call on Christmas Day, never mind receive a gift or join in a shared meal. A new Age UK report published on 3 December 2019 estimates that more than 200,000 older people in the UK will spend Christmas alone this year. Those who have recently been widowed struggle the most. The poignancy of this situation is brilliantly illustrated in a short video called "Stella" from Reengage UK (formerly Contact the Elderly).

Joanna Lumley, Age UK Ambassador, says: "Loneliness is one of the most disabling and dispiriting situations that thousands must face this and every year. Even pulling a Christmas cracker needs someone at the other end...and think of all the other moments when a kind hand, a warm voice, and understanding presence would be of even greater benefit to a lonely troubled person.”

Prompted by attending the Powys Bereavement Project launch earlier this month (planned to coincide with the first ever National Grief Awareness Week), Jen decided to try and find out if there were any events or lunches organised by groups in Powys for people to attend if they were by themselves on Christmas Day. Early on in her investigations she was pleasantly surprised by the number and spread of activities across the county. Some of the organisations are even offering to organise transport where needed.

Before long we were both absolutely overwhelmed by the sheer generosity of individuals linked to voluntary groups, churches and even private organisations, who are working tirelessly to ensure people in their communities do not have to face Christmas alone. Indeed most of the lunches / events are free to attend and run on donations and good old community Christmas spirit!

One church in Newtown provides meals for up to one hundred people each year who are elderly or vulnerable and on their own at Christmas. Working with a local sandwich shop, who donate their time and the main course of the meal, a delicious Christmas dinner is prepared, taking into consideration different dietary and lifestyle requirements. Volunteers at the church gather on Christmas morning to organise the food parcels to be delivered to the local residents. 

As well as a Christmas dinner each person receives a newspaper, a dessert and a small gift. It’s not just a flying visit just to drop off either. There is a true sense of Christmas spirit with volunteers staying to chat and keep people company for up to half an hour. Many volunteers have been delivering parcels for several years, visiting the same people each year to build relationships, foster friendships and maintain a sense of continuity and connection. Places have been filled for this year but if you know of someone who would benefit next year please get in touch and we can refer you to the relevant organisations.

Powys really wears its heart on its sleeve when it comes to caring for people in the community at Christmas. What was heartwarming and poignant to discover is that support at Christmas isn’t just localised in one area of Powys. Support and care is provided right across the county from a Christmas meal in Llanfyllin organised by local people and business, to hot drinks and mince pies at the village hall in Presteigne, to board games, bacon butties and hot chocolate at the Greek Restaurant in Brecon with Credu - Connecting Carers. The range of support and provision is varied and heartfelt. 

Other Christmas Day lunches and events are listed on our website events calendar. Some are now fully booked, but others still offer places, or are more informal spaces, where people can meet up with others on Christmas Day. Enjoy a chat, a drink (non-alcoholic or not), listen to music, laugh together (or not!) at some of those dreadful Christmas cracker jokes, and eat a Christmas dinner (roast turkey, or not!) together.

In the end Christmas Day is just one day of the year. What about the other 364 (or in 2020, which is a Leap Year, 365) days? Powys Befrienders is a PAVO project helping to improve the independence of people aged 50 and over in the county by encouraging thriving social networks. This can have huge knock on benefits, not only in people feeling happier in themselves and enjoying life more, but in their ability to remain in their own homes for longer.

Isolation and loneliness can be big issues, especially in a large rural county like Powys. But there is support out there, whether at Christmas or any other time of the year. And the main message we took away from this small piece of work is that generally people in Powys don’t need to spend Christmas Day alone if they don’t want to!

With seasons greetings to all our readers, and hoping that your Christmas is as busy or as quiet as you would really wish.

If you need support over the Christmas period, however, for whatever reason, then take a look at our website page with details of organisations that can help.

There is also an excellent blog post, with tips on how to survive Christmas, on local mental health charity Ponthafren Association’s website - Beat the Christmas Blues.